


For The Love Of Howl

by behindtheinnocence



Series: For The Love Of Howl [1]
Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Mentions of alcohol, Mild Language, Romance, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 02:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14275440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/behindtheinnocence/pseuds/behindtheinnocence
Summary: Rory finds a phone number written in a book that she bought in NYC.  (Based on a Tumblr prompt)





	For The Love Of Howl

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls, Howl, or any other character, book, movie, or band referenced in this fanfic. Any noticeable characters, plot, or dialogue was written by ASP, Allen Ginsberg, Carlos Ruiz Zafón, Kevin Smith, and Callie Khouri.

The two dark haired girls slumped over on the bench, out of breath and with several large shopping bags ceremoniously dumped by their feet. “I don’t think we’ve ever shopped this much in our entire lives,” Lorelai groaned out, leaning back into the bench as she stared out into the crowded park.

Rory sat next to her, clutching her chest as she tried to get her breathing under control. “I agree. Why didn’t anyone ever tell us how hard shopping was in New York City?”

“That’s probably because almost everyone we know has never been shopping in New York City.”

“Oh. Good point. Lucky us, I guess.”

“Yeah. Though it don’t feel so lucky now.” Lorelai let out another groan, before hunching over and holding her stomach. “God, and all that walking and carrying has made me starving again.”

Rory moaned. “Didn’t we just eat? We had to have stopped by at least fifteen different street vendors in the last three hours.”

Lorelai’s mouth dropped open in shock. “I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I know I raised you better than this! Besides, this doesn’t even beat our record of Thanksgiving 1996 when Sookie and Luke both made those monstrous spreads of fried turkey and mashed potatoes.”

“Ugh! I can’t think of that right now. I’m in too much pain.”

“Well hurry up and get over it. We’ve only covered the east side of Manhattan. We still have to head towards the west side and see Greenwich Village and Washington Square Park where David Lee Roth got busted.”

“I’m not going anywhere else until we go to a bookstore or one of the public libraries. I need to sit back, read, and rest my feet.”

Lorelai whined when she heard her daughter mention the word books. “No, don’t do this to me Rory! If we go to a bookstore or library, you’ll be in there for the rest of the day and I’ll miss my chance to eat at Magnolia Bakery, which was shown on Sex in the City!”

“Well, considering we’re supposed to be in New York for me, Mom -- you know, your daughter who got dumped by her boyfriend a month ago because she couldn’t say ‘I love you’ -- those are my terms. Find me some books fast so I can continue on this shopping fest, or watch me fall asleep right here on this very bench.” Rory stretched her arms and legs out, a yawn escaping her mouth.

“Oh no, you’re crashing! We need four large coffees stat!” Lorelai pulled her daughter’s arm and started to stand, trying to pull Rory up with her.

Rory groaned as her mom pulled her to standing. She yawned again, felt her body sway on unsteady feet, and tried to sit back down.

“Oh no you don’t!” Lorelai yelled, wrapping an arm around her daughter’s waist to keep her standing. “Quick! Look at all the happy people running around in Central Park in spandex and sports bras! Drink in their energy! Energy by osmosis!” She took another glance at her daughter and realized she was losing her fast.

“Hey!” she yelled to a person walking a dog past her. “Where’s the nearest bookstore slash library slash coffee shop?”

“St. Agnes,” the stranger replied, continuing on her walk. She turned her head to keep talking. “It’s right down the street. You can’t miss it cause they’re having their used book sale today. There should be a coffee shop right next to it.”

“And the therapeutic shopping trip is saved! Come on, kid.” Lorelai turned back to her daughter, who was almost asleep in her arms. “Hey! None of that Rory! I found a bookstore. It’s only a couple blocks away. Come on babe.” She picked up her bags and started heading in the direction the stranger pointed in.

Rory groaned and grumbled, but reached down and picked up her bags, dragging her feet after her mother down the street.

 

* * * * * 

 

“Time’s up, kid!”

“No!” Rory shot back, unwilling to leave her haven that she had been in the last hour. She let out a happy sigh as she looked down at the books that were resting in her lap before she turned back to the novel she had in her hand.

Lorelai rounded around the bookshelf, seeing her daughter sitting happily on the floor, a mountain of books atop her folded legs. “Well, it’s been an hour. I’ve gone through three large coffees and now I need to eat. Come on, you should be plenty rested now.”

“Give me three more minutes. I need to finish this page.”

“Fine. Three more minutes,” Lorelai agreed as she plopped down next to her daughter. “Which book are you reading?”

“ _The Importance of Being Earnest._ It’s a second edition. I don’t think they even knew what they had. And look, I found a copy of _Gulliver’s Travels_ for Grandpa.”

“You got a children’s book for Dad?”

“It’s not a children’s book! It’s an extremely complex novel that satirizes everything about the human nature!” She stopped her tirade when she noticed her mom rolling eyes. “Grandpa will appreciate it no matter what. Anyway I got those plus a few more gems.”

Lorelai snorted slightly. “A few? Hun, I think we need to work on your vocabulary if you think this is a few.” She tapped lightly against the stack of books on her daughter’s legs. Leaning over, she quickly scanned the titles. Her brows furrowed at a familiar black and white cover. “Hey,” Lorelai said, pointing to the book. “You already have this book. Why do you need another one?”

Rory glanced down to see which one she was referring to. She rolled her eyes. “It’s _Howl_. You can’t come to New York and not buy a copy of _Howl_ when you see it. Besides you can never have too many copies of it. It’s a great book.”

“Whatever kid,” Lorelai said, smiling at her daughter’s exuberance for books. “There’s a New York style chili cheese dog with my name on it. Let’s check out and go.”

She helped her daughter carry the twenty or so books she had in her arms to the counter and quickly paid for the items, adding another three shopping bags to their already impressive number.

 

* * * * *

 

“Home sweet home!” Lorelai exclaimed as she and Rory could barely walk over their accumulation of items from New York on their way over to the couch. Flopping down, they both let out a sigh of relief and nestled deep into the cushions.

Lorelai let out a groan as she put her feet up on the coffee table in front of the couch. “I think I’m calling into work tomorrow. I don’t even know how I made it into the house. My feet should be falling off my ankles right now.”

“Hmmm…” Rory moaned, relishing in closing her eyes for a moment, before she remembered that she had to finish up her literary essay on Shakespeare’s _The Taming of the Shrew_. She groaned again before she walked over to retrieve her bookbag, bringing it back over to the couch with her.

“Ugh! Rory! Stop thinking about books for once in your life. Mommy needs to you to lay your head against her lap and let her stroke your hair to complete this wallowing process.”

Rory felt a slight pang in her chest as she thought about Dean again before brushing it off. “You’re the one that enrolled me in the really expensive school where it’s required that I read 24/7.” Rory started unloading her bag which also included the books she had bought from the book sale in New York.

“Who? Me? I think you have me confused with El Diablo. I’m the cool mom, remember? I’m the one that throws you sweet sixteen bashes and lets you stay up late during the week for marathon movie nights.”

“Harvard, remember?”

“Ugh! What was I thinking, raising a beautiful and intelligent girl who spends most of her time reading books?”

“You were thinking better that than her ending up pregnant at sixteen and running away from home.” Rory saw _Howl_ on top of her copy of _The Taming of the Shrew_ , and picked it up, briefly flipping through the book, trying to inhale the final scents of New York in her nostrils.

“Oh, right.” Lorelai said, getting up from the couch to head upstairs. “Well, carry on. I’m just gonna --”

“Hey!”

“What? What did I say?” Lorelai asked, surprised by her daughter’s outburst.

“It’s ruined!” Rory exclaimed, looking at small book with dismay. _Poor book!_

“What? Why? Did someone use a condom wrapper as a bookmark?”

“Ew gross. No. Someone defaced it with his chicken scratch.”

“No! He wrote in it?”

“Yes! And oh my God it’s all over this book!” Rory cried, thumbing through the rest of the pages. “How could someone do that?!”

Lorelai shook her head and lightly tsk-tsked. “Some people are just moralless.”

Rory stroked the pages softly. “I’m so sorry this happened to you,” she said quietly to the book. “I’ll make sure to take good care of you, I promise.”

“So what revelatory musings did this monster just have to write in the margins?”

Rory sighed as she made out what the writing said. “He wrote things like….” she trailed off, stunned in silence. Her eyes quickly scanned the annotations on the page, stopping to savor the intensity behind the words. _These aren’t just any notes…. Whoever wrote this was smart… and very familiar with the Beats…_ she added as she saw comparisons of censorship between Ginsberg and Burroughs. _Hmm…_

Lorelai opened her mouth to regain Rory’s attention when she noticed her daughter’s furrowed brow. She closed her mouth and shook her head, smiling lightly at her daughter before dropping the subject and leaving her to read in peace.

Rory stayed on the couch, taking her time to read the book in its entirety. She was completely engrossed, eyes quickly scanning through the jottings. As she turned the last page, a row of numbers at the bottom caught her attention, and she pursed her lips at it. Ten numbers. Probably a phone number. She double checked the handwriting and realized it was the same as the rest of the notes. She inhaled softly. _He left his phone number_ , she thought to herself, before silently chiding her brain for automatically assuming the writer was a guy… Although the writing feels very masculine. She traced the numbers with her finger, biting her bottom lip slightly as she considered a thought. Her hand twitched in her lap as her eyes darted across the room to where the phone rested. _No. I shouldn’t… should I?_

Her mom’s voice interrupted her thought, and she jumped slightly at the intrusion.

“Rory, what are you still doing up? Are you still reading that thing? It’s time for bed, kid.”

“Bed?” Rory turned her head swiftly to catch the time on the clock. _A quarter after midnight! She had been reading for three hours! Crap! I didn’t get started on my homework! I’ll have to finish it during lunch._ She looked back down at the book in her hand and forced away her thoughts. _I’ll deal with this tomorrow. Time for bed._

 

* * * * *

 

The next day, Rory could barely concentrate as she went from class to class. Her mind remained with the annotations in the book of poetry; not even Paris’ tirades about the effect of daydreams on GPAs managed to break her thoughts from the book and the mysterious guy’s writings. Rory couldn’t stop herself from wondering what the guy (cause the owner was firmly a guy in her mind now) meant when he wrote “this influenced the punk movement,” or “a joint collaboration from the four.”

As soon as Rory was back home, she tossed her bag into her room, grabbed _Howl_ and hurried over to the phone. Rory held her breath for a beat as she debated whether to dial the numbers or not. She took a last look at the book, the margin notes spurring her forward, and before she knew it, she was dialing the ten numbers into the phone. She exhaled as she heard the familiar ringing in her ear, very curious to hear who was on the other line. When she heard the phone pick up, she suddenly couldn’t breathe.

“Hello?” came an agitated and very decidedly male voice.

_He sounds young… and cute…. Wait what?_

_“Hello?!”_

Rory opened her mouth to speak but suddenly found her vocal capabilities dormant in her throat.

“What? Cat got your tongue?”

Silence. _What was wrong with her?_

“Look, I ain’t got all day, pal.”

Rory tried swallowing, hoping that would help her to speak, but the words just seemed stuck in her throat.

“Fine. Have a nice life asshole,” the guy said as he hung up.

Rory stared at the phone before she gingerly placed it back in its cradle. _Well that went well._ She stayed staring for another minute, silently cursing her brain for short-circuiting because _dammit_ she really _really_ wanted to ask his thoughts about these margin notes. She reached out to grab the phone again before changing her mind and leaving the room. She’ll try again later, when she’s remembered how to actually speak on the phone.

 

* * *

 

_Three hours later_

“Hello?”

Silence.

“Hello?!”

Silence.

“Are you _serious_  right now?”

Silence.

“Look Silent Bob, or whatever the hell your name is, if you ain’t got something to say, stop calling here.”

_Click._

Rory let out an aggravated groan as she hit the phone against her head.

 

* * *

 

_The Next Day_

_I am going to do this!_

“Hello?”

Silence.

“I’m not doing this again.”

Rory could feel the end of the call coming, and panicking, _cause she is doing this today_ , blurted out “WAIT!”

Jess’ arm stilled in midair as he was hanging up. Was that a girl? He brought the phone back to his ear. “Hello?” he asked, his curiosity calming his irritation over these phone calls.

Rory swallowed again, took a deep breath, and squeaked out a tentative “Hi.”

“Hey.”

“Um…”

“So, since we’re feeling talkative today, are you gonna tell me who you are and what you want?”

“Oh…. Well… I’m…” _Get a grip, Rory!_ “My name’s Rory, well really it’s Lorelai. Rory’s just a nickname. I’m named after my mom. Well, really my mom named me after her while she was drugged up on Demerol in the maternity ward. Had one of those ‘go feminism’ moments and decided she’d name her kid after her the way guys do all the time, and since it would get really confusing to have two Lorelais running around, I… go by Rory…” she trailed off when she realized she had gone way into rambling territory.

Jess had listened quietly, finding himself somewhat entertained by the longwindedness of the girl’s – Rory’s – speech. “Huh,” he said at the end of her rambling.

“Yeah…” Rory could feel her cheeks beginning to burn and felt the familiar desire to flee. “You know what, this was probably a bad idea. I should go…”

“Okay. If you want,” Jess said, feeling slightly disappointed. He was curious about this girl. “But don’t think you have to. I’m Jess by the way,” he added, hoping it would be enough to make the girl want to stay.

Rory was surprised. He still wanted to talk to her? “Oh. Okay. Nice to meet you Jess.”

“You too… So why’d you call?”

“Oh. Well my mom and I went to New York a few days ago, and we stopped at this library bookstore combination thing --”

“St. Agnes?”

“Yeah… and I could only stay for an hour cause my mom wanted to check out more of the city, but I was able to find a fair amount of books in that time, and one of the books had all this margin writing and this phone number, and when I was reading it, I was really curious to know who the original owner was.”

Jess was amazed at the amount of words this girl could speak on one breath. “Curious?” he asked, the single word sticking out in her explanation.

“Yeah.”

He smirked. “So because you’re curious, you’ll call a random stranger, who could be a pedophile or an axe murderer, just so you could talk about a book?” Jess asked, half in disbelief, half in awe. _Is it possible he found someone as crazy about books as he was?_

 _Yup. He officially thought she was crazy._ “Yeah…” she dragged out, suddenly feeling the weight of her very impulsive and reckless decision.

“Which book?

Rory blinked. “Um… _Howl_?”

Jess grinned and recited, “‘My books piled up before me for my use waiting in space where I placed them, they haven’t disappeared, time’s left its remnants and qualities for me to use.’” He knew that book like his own reflection.

Rory took a sharp inhale, exhilaration flooding through her veins. “Your book?”

“If it’s covered in writing, then most likely.”

“Do you do that a lot?”

“What?”

“Write in the margins?”

“Not much.”

“Oh… Well it’s clear you’ve read _Howl_ a lot. Do you read a lot in general?”

“Not much.”

“Oh.” Rory suddenly felt like a deflated balloon, her excitement over finding a fellow literatus gone… _Still, those margin notes_ …

“So what brought you to the city?”

“What?” Rory was momentarily dumfounded by the sudden change in topic.

“You said you came to New York with your mom. Why?”

“Oh. My mom wanted to take me on a remedial shopping trip.”

“Remedial? You sick or something?”

“Oh, no… I kind of…” she trailed off, unsure if she wanted to really talk about it.

“Kind of what?”

“Well… kind of just got dumped.”

“Ouch.” Jess grimaced, feeling bad for the girl on the phone. “Sorry.”

“Thanks.”

“The guy’s an idiot.”

Rory bit back a laugh. “You don’t even know him.”

“Don’t need to. Gut feeling.”

“Gut feeling, huh? What’s it saying about me?”

“You did nothing wrong.”

Rory froze when he told her similar words to what her mom and Lane had. _How does he…_ “How do you know that?”

“Like I said, gut feeling.”

“Right.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“What?” _Who was this guy? He doesn’t really want to listen, does he?_ “You don’t even know me. I could be some crazy lady trying to scam you out of your money or a sexual predator trying to hit on you or something.”

“Well, the scam would be on you. I have no money. And something tells me it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to be hit on by you.”

“Gut feeling?”

“Yup.”

Rory remained silent on the line for a moment, her mind running through her list of pros and cons to talking to this person, until she heard his voice in her ear again.

“So… do you want to talk about it? Sometimes one feels freer speaking to a stranger than to people one knows.”

Those words. She _knew_ those words. They were from a book, she knew, but she couldn’t remember which one. But the fact he just threw another literary quote at her made her question his honesty regarding how much he read. She couldn’t explain it, but she felt a strange kinship with this guy. Something told her to trust him.

“Well, he was my first boyfriend. And he was really nice, and sweet, and dependable--”

“You mean boring.”

“No!” Rory immediately cried, wanting defend her first relationship, but realized he might have a point. Her face scrunched up in thought. _Maybe that’s why I couldn’t say “I love you?”_ “Maybe…. I don’t know… Everyone said he was perfect. I thought he was perfect.”

“If he was so perfect, then why the breakup?”

“He told me he loved me.”

“That sounds the exact opposite of a breakup.”

“I couldn’t say it back.”

Silence.

“And he broke up with you?”

“Yeah.”

Jess scoffed, suddenly feeling disgusted with the guy, whoever he was. “I take it back. He’s not an idiot. He’s a jerk.”

“No he’s not. I’m the jerk. I’m the jerkiest jerk to have ever lived. I hurt the best boyfriend a girl could ask for.”

Jess scoffed again, not feeling the least bit sorry for this guy. “Please. He hurt himself. Just because you couldn’t say the words doesn’t mean you didn’t feel for him. It just means you weren’t ready. And if he was really the best boyfriend, he would have understood that and waited. But he didn’t. He’s the jerk, not you.”

Rory smiled weakly. “I just feel like there’s something wrong with me.”

“If that’s the case, then there’s something wrong with both of us.”

“You’ve never said…”

“Nope.”

“Never even wanted to?”

“I’d have to find a girl I actually like first.”

Rory’s smile grew, suddenly feeling a lot better about the situation. “Thanks.”

“No problem…. you know, if you ever need to be reminded of that, that there’s nothing wrong with you, you can always call again. You have my number now.”

Rory felt her breath hitch slightly. She was not expecting that. “Really?” she asked, feeling strangely excited about the prospect of future conversations, which was insane since she only started talking to this guy literally ten minutes ago.

“Yeah. Talking to you isn’t so bad.”

“Gee, thanks.”

Jess rolled his eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant --”

“I know. I was just teasing. You’re not so bad to talk to yourself.”

“Huh.”

They both were quiet for a moment, before Rory piped up.

“I’ve never done this before… just shared my personal life with a stranger.” she laughed, slightly embarrassed. “I don’t know why I did.”

“A stranger sees us the way we are, not as he wishes to think we are.”

Those words again. Rory racked her brain until she could pinpoint the source. When she knew, she smiled.

“Shadow of the Wind.”

“What?” _She knew the book?_

“I thought you said you didn’t read much.”

 _Huh_. “Well, what is much?”

Rory couldn’t stop the smile that seemed to keep spreading across her face. _She was right about him._ She was about to reply when she heard an angry “JESS!” come through the receiver.

Rory bit her lip, feeling the conversation was about to end. “Your mom?” she guessed.

Jess sighed. “Yup. Lizzie in all her morning glory.”

“Morning? I thought you lived in New York.”

“I do. It’s her usual ‘wakeup from hangover’ time.”

“Oh. So I’m guessing she needs you for something?”

“Nope. She probably just listened to the voicemail from my principal.”

“Principal? What did you do?” Rory asked, suddenly very curious about this Jess.

“Nothing much.”

“What are you, ‘Mr. Too Cool for School’ or something?”

“Yes, that is me.”

His evasiveness was doing nothing to keep her from being curious. _Why was she suddenly so interested in this boy?_ “I wanna know.”

“Let’s just say I made it really hard for people to use the bathrooms at school today.”

Rory couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably at the images that sprung up in her mind.

“JESS! I KNOW YOU HEARD ME! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE! I’M GETTING SICK OF THIS SHIT!”

Rory winced at that volume of the scream. “Uh-oh.”

“Yeah, I got to go.”

“Okay. Goodnight Huckleberry.”

Jess’ finger paused before he pressed the end call button. “Huckleberry?”

“Figure it out.”

Rory waited a second to see if he would respond. She was about to hang up when she heard a slight chuckle followed by a “Huck Finn. Scarily accurate” and then the dial tone.

When she put the phone in its cradle, her cheeks hurt she was smiling so wide.

 

* * * * *

 

It had been four days since she had last talked to Jess, and she kept going over the conversation in her mind. When she finally made it to bed that night after hours of homework (during which she found it really hard to concentrate), she realized she had had so much fun talking to him that she hadn’t even asked him anything about his notes or opinions about _Howl_ or anything. She made a promise to herself that the next time she talked to him, she would ask him about it.

Still, the last few days she had taken to carrying around the small book of poetry everywhere she went, the book rarely leaving her hands. She wanted to absorb his notes as much as possible until it was completely imbedded in her memory.

She grabbed another bite of the burger that she was currently eating at the counter at Luke’s, and quickly turned the page, her eyes racing across the deluge of text.

“So, every time I’ve seen you this week, you seem to be reading that book. Please tell me its magical powers or I’ll have to downgrade you from best friend status. I really could use some help in getting my mom to change her mind about sending me over to Korea this summer.” Lane slung her backpack over the chair next to Rory’s and sat down beside her at the counter.

Rory quickly closed the book and looked at her friend. “Your mom still hasn’t relented?”

Lane shook her head. “Nope. I’m officially screwed.” She yelled to the cook in the kitchen, “Caesar, can I get a burger and fries?!”

Caesar nodded in response and quickly started to fry a burger on the grill.

Lane turned back to Rory. “So come on, what do you got? I’ve probably only got thirty minutes before my mom notices I’ve escaped lockdown.”

Rory held up the copy of _Howl_. “Sorry, Lane. This isn’t going to be much help.”

Lane squinted at the title behind her glasses. “Isn’t that the book by that one poet who wrote all about homosexuality, sex, and drugs?”

“Yup. So, it’s not really gonna help your case with your mom.”

“I don’t know,” Lane said, grabbing the book. “This might work, if I could convince her that I’m completely irredeemable and an agent of Satan. Maybe then she’ll leave me alone to my rock and roll and eternal damnation.”

“When have you ever known your mom to give up?”

Lane slumped. “Good point. I’m so screwed.” She flipped the pages, one final act of trying to breathe in the immorality of the text before she noticed the scrawled writing in the margins. “Wait, what’s this? You’re defacing your books now?”

“Oh, no,” Rory said, grabbing _Howl_ back from Lane. “It’s one of the books I bought while I was in New York with Mom. I didn’t realize it had writing in it until I made it home.”

“Uh-huh. So why the sudden craze?”

Rory set the book down on the counter and popped a fry in her mouth. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you own that book already and it’s a pretty fast read. Why have you been carrying it around constantly?”

“I have not been --” Rory stopped short at Lane’s raised eyebrows.

Rory shrugged her shoulder. “It’s nothing,” she continued, turning back to her food.

Lane studied her best friend for a few moments and noticed a subtle pink start to flood her cheeks.

“Oh my God! The notes! You know the guy?”

Rory’s cheeks flamed further.

“OH MY GOD!” Lane squealed.

Rory immediately put her hand over her friend’s mouth. “SHHH!! I don’t want this getting around just yet,” she stressed.

Lane nodded as Rory removed her hand from her mouth. “Sorry. You know I live vicariously through you. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you met a new guy! Who is he? Oh my God, did you guys meet in New York? Did you guys bond over the book? Oh my God, that is so romantic!”

“Lane!” Rory half yelled, trying to get her friend’s attention back from her dream land.

“Oops. Sorry. I did it again.” Lane took a deep breath and forced her features into a neutral expression. “Okay, I’m calm. Tell me.”

Rory glanced around, making sure none of the patrons in the diner were paying much attention to their conversation. When she was satisfied that she saw no prying eyes, she opened the book to the last page where Jess’ phone number was written.

Lane’s eyes bugged out. “Oh my --”

“Lane!”

“Sorry. Continue.”

“When we got back from New York, I started reading this book. I sat on the couch and read for hours, completely engrossed in the notes.”

“That good?”

“Yeah. You know me. I hate seeing other people’s writing in a book, but Jess’ --”

“Wait. Jess?”

“Yeah, that’s his name.”

“You’re already on a first name basis?”

“Yeah… I basically called him.”

“You what?!”

“I got to the end of the book and saw this number there, and I don’t know, had a stroke or something cause the next day, I’m calling his number.”

“What?!”

“And of course, being me, I completely freaked out and couldn’t say a word on the phone.”

“Oh my God. So did he call you back?”

“No… I called again.”

“You what?!”

“I called him three times until I could finally get a word out.”

“Rory! I don’t know whether to scold or applaud you. This is so not you!”

“I know! I don’t read a book and see a number in it, and randomly call a guy so I can ask him what he means when he wrote that 'burning money in wastebaskets and listening to the Terror in the wall' somehow influenced punk. And I don’t keep calling after I’ve already made a complete fool of myself.”

“Wait. He knows punk?”

“I think so. At least it sounds like it.”

“Nice. I think I like him already, as long as its not that pop punk that’s been spreading around lately. It’s giving punk a bad name. What did he say?”

“Well the first time he was really hostile and irritated, probably thought I was pranking him or something. The second time, he called me Silent Bob --”

“I love that movie.”

“Me too. And then the third time, he basically goes to hang up the phone after I don’t answer, and I completely panic and yell at him to wait.”

“Did he?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“And he ended up being the guy who wrote the margin notes. Oh my gosh Lane, he sounds so smart. He literally quoted Ginsberg verbatim and at first he lied about reading a lot, but at the end of the conversation, he basically admitted to being a literatus.”

“That is so amazing,” Lane said wistfully, sighing softly in her chair. Caesar came from the kitchen and placed a plate of hot food in front of her. Lane took a quick look outside, making sure her mom wasn’t around before taking a bite out of the burger. “Thank you Caesar!” she yelled. She took another bite before continuing the conversation. “So was that it? You guys just talked about books the entire time?”

Rory swallowed and looked back down at the counter. “Oh, uh, no… actually we didn’t really talk a lot about books.”

Lane cocked her head. “Then what did you talk about? Or was that the whole conversation?”

“No… we umm…. I told him about Dean.”

Lane’s eyes bugged out again. “You what?!”

“Like I said, I had a stroke! I don’t know what I was thinking!”

“You didn’t even talk to me about Dean for weeks!”

“I know!”

“Why’d you tell him?”

Rory started picking at her sweater after her plate was clear. “I don’t know…” she repeated. “He quoted Carlos Ruiz Zafón, that quote about being able to talk more freely with strangers because they see you for who you are... and I don’t know. I guess I felt like I could trust him.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s like a plotline out of a romantic movie or something.”

“Yeah…” Rory bit her lip shyly. “He said I could call him again.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah.”

“Will you?”

Rory tucked her hair behind her ear and nodded.

“Oh my God!” Lane squealed again, although much quieter. “Wait. Does this mean you’re over Dean?”

Rory went to open her mouth before she saw Dean walk past with an attractive blonde on his arm, the two of them laughing. Lane noticed her gaze, and turned around, watching the couple walk past the diner window. “Lindsey Lister.”

“Yeah,” Rory said, a slight pang in her chest. She sighed. “She’s really nice.”

Lane turned back to look at her friend, grimacing slightly. “So, it’s really over between you two?”

Rory nodded. “Yeah, I think so. I think it’s for the best really. I mean, maybe there’s a reason why I couldn’t say it back to him.” Her thoughts drifted back to what Jess said a few days before. “I know everyone thought he was perfect for me, but if he was perfect, wouldn’t he have waited til I could say the words, especially since he knows how me and my mom are about guys?”

Lane nodded solemnly, reaching for a fry. “Yeah, I see what you mean.” She chewed silently for a moment, thinking about the situation. “You know, now that I think about it, dumping you because you couldn’t say ‘I love you’ after only three months does seem like a jerk move.”

Rory giggled at her friend’s response. “Jess called Dean a jerk too!”

“Yup, I think I like this guy. He’s got good sense if he likes punk and he’s agreeing with me.”

“I have a feeling you two would get along great. Both of you seem to have that rebellious thing going for you.”

“Really? What’s he done? Does he have a secret stash of banned music and junk food underneath his floors?”

“Um… I don’t know… but he did tell me a little bit about a prank he pulled at school that day. He basically made it so no one could use the bathrooms.”

Lane slapped a hand over her mouth to keep her hysterical laughter in. “Oh my God. I shouldn’t laugh because that is so cruel, but that is so funny.”

Rory pressed her lips together as she felt the familiar rumblings of laughter in her chest. She and Lane took one look at each other before they lost it, both having a giggle fit in their seats in the diner.

“LUKE!!! I NEED COFFEE!!!!”

Both girls stopped laughing when they heard the familiar voice of Lorelai enter the diner.

Lane quickly glanced at Rory and noticed the slight panic behind her eyes. “She doesn’t know?”

Rory shook her head.

Lane nodded once. “Got it. Hey Lorelai!” she said as Lorelai sauntered over to the counter and sat at Rory’s other side. “I gotta go before my mom thinks of a worse punishment than a summer in Korea. Bye guys.” Lane slid of her seat, grabbed her bookbag and ran out the diner.

Rory smiled gratefully at her friend as she left the diner before she turned and faced her mom. “How was work?”

 

* * * * *

 

Rory called Jess again later that night, and just like that, she and Jess were talking almost every night the next four months, though Rory was careful to keep the conversations to when her mom was busy at the inn or asleep. She did not need her mother’s worrying about boys to mess up this new camaraderie she had with Jess.

By their fifth conversation, she had confirmed that yes, he was a big supporter of punk, (specifically the bands from the late 70s ala the Clash, Ramones, and Sex Pistols), he was picky about his food (tending to choose simple cuisine over the fancy stuff, though he had an affinity for eggrolls), and he wasn’t picky about what he read (though his favorite writers tended to be from the beats or the lost generation). She groaned when she remembered who his favorite author was.

_“Hemingway completely changed the landscape of the American novel. He’s literally the father of the modern age of writing!” Jess exclaimed, unable to believe that Rory was tearing into his favorite author._

_“Yeah, except he changed the landscape by taking out everything that makes a book enjoyable to read!” Rory shot back, unwilling to back down from this argument they’ve been having for the past ten minutes. “There’s no detail. There’s no complex sentence structure. There’s barely even any conflict aside from petty narcissism. He’s such a bore. He puts me to sleep every time I read his books.”_

_“I can’t believe you just said that! And the narcissism is the whole point, considering Hemingway is drawing on his own personal life when drawing up his characters. And who would want to read through clunky and flowery language when you can have it straight to the point? He’s brilliant. How do you not see it?”_

_Rory pretended to gag over the phone._

_“Fine,” Jess conceded. “Who do you think is a good representation of literature?”_

_“Ayn Rand.”_

_“Wow. You get on Hemingway for being narcissistic but love the queen of egoism?”_

_“Shut up. That’s not the only reason why I hate Hemingway. Besides Rand’s amazing. I fell in love with her when I first read_ The Fountainhead _.”_

_“Ugh!” Jess said with a roll of his eyes. “You’ve actually gotten through that entire novel of crap?”_

_“Yup. When I was ten.”_

_“Ten?” Jess repeated, his eyes widening in disbelief._

_“Yeah. But I didn’t understand a word of it, so I had to reread it when I was 15.”_

_Jess groaned. “I have yet to make it through it.”_

_“Try! It’s a classic!”_

_“Yeah, but Ayn Rand is a political nut.”_

_“Yeah, but nobody could write a 40-page monologue the way that she could.”_

_“Fine. I will reread_ The Fountainhead _and you will --”_

_“Give the painful Ernest Hemingway another chance. Yes, I promise,” Rory said in exasperation._

_“You know, Ernest only has lovely things to say about you.”_

_Rory felt her breath catch in her throat and a warmth spread through her chest. She smiled shyly and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, trying to think of something else to say._ What do you say to that?

_“So, what’s your take on the Russians?”_

_Rory gave a grateful sigh, ready to dive into a new argument._

Rory smiled as she remembered the passion in which Jess spoke, something she came to realize was a fixed part of his personality, much like his sarcasm and brusque mannerisms. She enjoyed the way they could talk about anything, from books to movies to music, though her favorites will always be the literary debates. Jess’ passion for books really came alive in these discussions and she had long since come to the conclusion that she really like him.

When she told Lane how she felt, Lane had squealed and said, “I knew it!” before begging to listen in on one of their conversations because she just had to meet this Jess. That started a weekly tradition of meeting up on Thursday nights (before Lane left for the summer) to have a conference call between the three teenagers as they argued over which bands were better.

But despite all the good times, there were moments when Jess tended to close himself off or switch the subject, usually when Rory asked him any questions about his home life, especially around his mom. It was during those times when a harsher and meaner Jess would appear, and those were the days when she would tend to think twice about their friendship. Though not for long because though she may not be ready to admit it, Jess had become a huge part of her life.

One that she didn’t want to lose.

One she might have already lost.

Tears sprung to her eyes as she remembered their fight from a week ago.

Jess had been surly and withdrawn, and when Rory tried to press to find out what happened, he had completely snapped.

_“So… are you just gonna be quiet on the phone all day?” she asked after she felt like she had been talking to a brick wall for the past ten minutes._

_“Sorry. Not really in a talking mood.”_

_“Oh. Something happen with your mom?”_

_Silence._

_“Okay. Well you can tell me, you know.”_

_“Thanks, but I’ll pass.”_

_“Why not? Maybe I can help.”_

_“Doubt it.”_

_“Sad boy. Come on. Tell me. Please?”_

_Silence._

_“Jess, come on. We’re friends. Friends tell each other stuff.”_

_“You know, you may think you’re entitled to know every aspect of my life, but you’re not, okay?! You don’t know anything about my life or what I’ve gone through! You’re just a voice on the fucking phone! So why don’t you go Dr. Laura somebody else?!”_

_Silence._

_Rory blinked her eyes rapidly, doing her best to keep the tears from welling out of her eyes. “I don’t know what I did,” she said brokenly, a sob coming to her throat._

_“Shit. Rory. I didn’t mean --”_

_Click._

_Shit._

Rory hadn’t tried to call Jess and he hadn’t seemed to try and call her. It was the longest they had gone without talking since they started these phone calls, and though she was mad at the way he yelled at her, she also horribly missed him. He had become such an integral part of her life. Every night she had rushed to the phone if her mom wasn’t home or as soon as her mom had gone to bed so she could tell him all about her day. And now, there was just a huge gaping hole in her life (her chest) that used to belong to Jess.

Her mom had noticed her being withdrawn and quiet and had asked her about it, but Rory shrugged the questions off, responding each time with a “It’s just some stress from school. I’m fine.”

She wanted to call Jess, but felt like since he’s the one that yelled at her, he should at least call to apologize.

Every day that passed where she didn’t hear from him felt like a knife through her heart.

 

* * *

 

When Rory came through the door after getting home from school that day, she saw her mom standing by the phone with a puzzled look on her face.

“Mom?” she asked, setting her bookbag down by the door.

“Hey kid,” Lorelai responded absent-mindedly as she stared at the phone.

A sense of panic started rising within Rory’s chest. She licked her lips. “Mom, what is it? Is it Grandma? Grandpa? Dad?”

Lorelai shook her head out of her reverie. “What?”

“What happened?”

“Oh. Nothing. It’s just… we’ve been getting these phone calls all week, and every time I answer the phone, the caller hangs up. I can’t even get a word in after ‘hello’ before I hear the click. It’s really starting to freak me out.”

Rory felt a quaking in her chest. “Phone calls?”

Lorelai turned to her daughter. “Yeah. You don’t know anything about them, do you?”

Rory shook her head and fought to keep a smile from creeping on her face.

“Okay,” Lorelai exhaled. “If this keeps continuing, I’m gonna call Coop and see if he can do anything to stop this.”

“Okay. Luke’s for dinner?”

“Yeah, I’m just gonna take a shower, a nice long shower to get this spooky feeling off of me.”

Rory grinned brightly, sensing a perfect opportunity to tease her mother. “Yes, take a shower. We saw how well those worked in Psycho.”

Rory laughed when she saw her mom shoot her a glare. She waited until she heard her mother enter the bathroom and turn on the water before she rushed over to the phone, quickly dialing Jess’s number.

The phone picked up in seconds. “Hello?”

Rory wanted to cry. It felt so good to hear his voice again. “Hey.”

“I’m a jerk.”

“No you’re not.”

“I’m the jerkiest jerk to have ever lived.”

Rory laughed when she heard him say her words from their very first conversation. “Maybe a little bit.”

“Rory, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s my fault too. I pushed.”

“No, you were being my friend, and I treated you like dirt. You did not deserve that.”

“It’s okay.”

“No it’s not…. you’re…” he stopped, exhaling sharply. “You’re not just a voice on the phone. You’re…. you’re really important to me.”

Rory gave a watery smile as she heard the sincerity in his voice. She swallowed slightly before she spoke softly, “You’re really important to me too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t screw everything up?”

“Almost, but not quite.”

Jess gave a long exhale. “Good. Cause this week especially sucked.”

Rory giggled, feeling that statement was a very apt description of her week. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”

“RORY! I’LL BE READY IN TWO MINUTES!”

Rory almost wanted to laugh at the speed of her mother’s shower, but instead sighed deeply, not wanting her conversation to end yet. “OKAY!” she called back up the stairs. “I have to go.”

“That’s probably for the best since your mom’s probably throwing fiery darts at my picture as we speak.”

“Wait, what? Why would she do that?”

“Because of what I said to you last week.”

Suddenly Jess’ hang-ups made a lot more sense and Rory couldn’t help but snicker. “Wait. Is that why you kept hanging up on her every time she answered the phone?”

“Well yeah. I’m reckless not suicidal.”

Rory burst into a huge fit of giggles.

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up,” Jess grumbled through the phone.

Rory caught her breath before speaking again. “It’s not that. It’s just… I still haven’t told her about you yet.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, so, you don’t have to worry just yet.”

“Huh.”

Rory sensed something behind that reply… “What?”

“I just… you’re not… ashamed of me… are you?”

“What? No! Why would you think that?”

“Because you tell your mom everything.”

“Oh.” Rory fell silent as she contemplated how the situation looked to Jess. _Why hadn’t she told her mom?_ “I guess… I just want to keep you to myself a little while longer.”

Jess lips twitched upward at her answer. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Silence.

“Me too,” Jess admitted softly, wishing for the millionth time that he could talk to Rory in person.

Rory felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach at his soft words and opened her mouth to speak when her mom interrupted her again. “RORY ARE YOU READY?”

She groaned. Her mom has the worst timing ever.

“I’m guessing you really have to go.”

“Yeah, “she sighed. “We’re headed to dinner. You gonna be up late again tonight?”’

“Per usual.”

“Okay. I’ll call you back when my mom’s asleep.”

“Sounds good. Bye Rory.”

“Bye Jess.” Rory heard a door slam upstairs and rushed to put the phone back in its cradle before her mom started coming down the stairs.

“Okay kid. Ready to eat?”

Rory gave her mom a bright smile. “Yup!”

 

* * * * *

 

Lorelai kept tossing and turning in her bed, trying everything to get comfortable and go to sleep, but for some reason she couldn’t. She gave a large sigh and rolled over, looking at the clock. One in the morning. Lorelai groaned before kicking the covers off and standing up from the bed. She grabbed her night robe from the closet and headed downstairs, thinking that a cup of coffee might help her to relax a little bit more.

As she came down the stairs she noticed a light coming from underneath the door of Rory’s room. Is she still up?

Lorelai crept down the final stairs and made her way over to the door. Her hand rested on the doorknob, ready to open the door, but Rory’s quiet laughter kept Lorelai rooted in place. She could hear her daughter’s muffled voice through the door followed by another quick giggle.

Lorelai frowned, her mind thinking back to those mysterious phone calls from this past week. She took a step back and glanced at the phone cradle. It was empty. Lorelai narrowed her eyes and stepped back to the door, hearing her daughter’s laughter again. Her hand hovered slightly over the door handle before she silently shook her head and stepped back again.

She could feel the familiar tendrils of anger beginning to flare out in her body. _Was Rory keeping secrets from her?_ But that’s ridiculous. Rory told her everything. _Right?_ She heard a louder giggle come from the bedroom door.

 _Only a boy could be making her laugh like this at this time of night._ Lorelai clenched her fists. _Who was talking to her baby at this time of night? Why don’t I know who he is?_ Lorelai stared at the door, hoping that by staring she’ll know all her daughter’s secrets.

Another bout of laughter, this one the loudest of them all.

_She sounds happy. I haven’t heard her this happy since…._

A light bulb went off in Lorelai’s head.

 _Oh. Of course._ Hearing her daughter laugh again, she smiled, shook her head, and then went in to the kitchen to make that cup of coffee. She’ll question Rory about it tomorrow.

 

* * * * *

 

Music filled the room as the credits rolled on the tv, the movie over as mother and daughter stayed nestled in their blankets on the couch. Rory felt the familiar rush of anticipation as she waited for her mom to call it a night. She was eager to talk to Jess again. However, her spirit dwindled slightly when she heard her mom start to speak.

“So kid, fruit of my loins that I spent almost a year carrying and a day doing splits on dynamite to push you out of my --“

“Mom.”

“You still love me, right?” Lorelai asked, turning her body slightly to face Rory. “I’m still your best friend?”

Rory rolled her eyes, wondering where this conversation was going. “Mom, of course. What are you talking about?” She reached for a pack of Red Vines.

“Well, I’m just trying to figure out why my favorite daughter --“

“Your only daughter.”

“Right. My only daughter. I’m just trying to figure out why you, my only daughter, haven’t told me you got back together with Dean...”

Rory stopped trying to open the candy for a moment, shocked to hear her ex’s name fall from her mom’s lips. She turned toward her. “Dean? Wait, what? Back up,” she said, as her mom continued to rattle on in the classic Gilmore way.

“…So, tell Mommy please. Cause I’m dying for the details here.”

“I’m not back together with Dean. Why would you think that?” she asked, completely confused since she couldn’t think of a reason why her mom thought she was back with her ex. A sudden thought ran through her mind. “Oh my God, is he going around telling everyone we’re back together?”

“No, not that I know of, but --”

“I thought he had asked that Lindsey girl out. Why would he say that we’re together? Oh my God. Is everyone around town saying we’re back together? Cause that’s not true. Dean and I are still very very much broken up.”

Lorelai raised her palms in surrender. “Okay, calm down. It was a mistake. I get it.”

Rory took a deep breath before returning to her Red Vines and asking, “Why would you even think that?”

“All the late night phone calls.”

Rory’s hands stilled. “Late night phone calls?” she asked, trying to keep her voice light and innocent. Uh-oh.

“Yeah. I come down to get a cup of coffee in the night and I hear you laughing on the phone when you should be sleeping... I just assumed you were back with Dean.”

“Oh. Well, I’m not.”

“Okay.”

“And if you’ve told anybody that, feel free to correct yourself.”

“I haven’t.”

“Okay good.”

“Good.”

Both girls remained quiet on the couch, but Lorelai fidgeted in her seat, anxious to hear the real story. She kept glancing back at Rory, who seemed to ignore her, fingers tracing the package of candy in her hands.

“So, are you gonna tell me?” Lorelai finally asked.

“Tell you what?” Rory replied innocently, yet knowing exactly what her mother was asking. She took a bite of the red licorice, quietly chewing on the candy and thinking of a way to exit this conversation fast.

“Who you’re talking to on the phone at one o’clock in the morning.” Lorelai stared at her daughter.

Rory placed the rest of the Red Vines on the coffee table. “Oh. It’s nobody.”

“Nobody?”

“Yeah. Nobody.”

“It didn’t sound like it was nobody.” Lorelai replied, not buying Rory’s act for a minute.

“Well it was.”

“A boy nobody?”

“Why does it matter?” Rory asked, feeling irritation bubbling inside her. She knew her mom should know about Jess, but she didn’t want to talk about Jess with her yet. Besides, she knew exactly what her mother would say and try to do if she were ever to find out about her friendship with the well-read boy from New York.

“Why won’t you tell me?” Lorelai continued, her voice rising in anger.

“Why are you harping on this?”

“Why do you keep avoiding the question with a question?”

“Because I’m a teenager and would like to keep something to myself for a change. What’s your excuse?”

“Excuse? I’m your mom and I have a right to know who my daughter is talking to at one o’clock in the morning! And if it’s something you have to keep to yourself then obviously it’s a boy! Who is he?”

“He’s nobody!”

“You don’t talk to nobodies at one in the morning, Rory!”

Rory’s mind scrambled to answer her mom without talking about Jess. “He’s just some guy at school!” _Yeah, school._ “We’re paired on a project together. We were just talking details.”

“Details huh?”

“Yes!”

“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”

“MOM!”

“What’s his name?”

“STOP!”

“Just tell me his name!”

Rory yelled the first name from Chilton that popped into her mind. “Tristan! Okay? It’s Tristan!”

Rory blinked. _Oh. My. God. Why did I just say that?_

Lorelai blinked. “Wait. The jerk that’s always calling you Mary?”

 _Too late to back out now._ “Yes. Now can we drop it?”

“The guy that you kissed the day after you broke up with Dean?” _Guess not._

“Yes. Now stop. Please.”

“I thought you hated him.”

“I never hated him. I just thought he was annoying.”

“And now?”

“Still annoying.”

“But liking?”

“No. There is no liking between me and Tristan. Not from me at least.”

“Minus the kiss.”

“The kiss had nothing to do with liking Tristan. I was just upset about Dean. You know this!”

“If it’s nothing then why were you trying to keep this to yourself?”

“Because. I was trying to avoid having this conversation.”

“What’s there to avoid?”

“I didn’t want you making a big deal about something that’s not even a thing!”

“Not a thing?”

“NO!”

The shout of Rory’s outburst shook out some of the suspicion from Lorelai. She deflated from her anger. “Oh…So no liking? At all?”

“No! It’s just school, I promise.”

“You promise?”

“Yes, I promise! Can I go to bed now?” Rory pleaded, needing to get away from this horrible turn in conversation.

Lorelai searched her daughter’s eyes, which were wide and open. She relented and said, “Yeah. Sorry kid. It’s just Mommy needs to know these things before she sees you in a compromising position and dies on the spot from a heart attack.”

“It’s fine,” Rory replied, standing up from the couch. “Though we both know you’re the one more likely to get caught in a compromising position.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Uh, Max?”

“I’ve never got caught in a compromising position with Max.”

“Then how did everyone find out at school?”

Lorelai scrunched her face, but was unwilling to surrender. “Okay. True grasshopper, but you got caught sleeping with Dean at Miss Patty’s.”

Rory remained nonplussed. “Wearing your underwear today?” she shot back.

Lorelai wilted in defeat. “Touché. Night Sweets.”

Rory smiled briefly, grateful for the argument to be finished. “Night Mom,” she said, before turning and walking towards her room. She shot a glance at the phone before her shoulders dropped in disappointment. There was no way she could call Jess tonight.

 

* * * * *

 

It had been two weeks since she had last talked to Jess. The first few days after the talk with her mom, she had been careful to steer clear of the phone, not wanting to rouse her mother’s suspicions any more. When she finally felt it was safe to call a few days later, her mother burst in her room in a whirlwind, grabbing clothes and books and stuffing them in a bag. When she asked her mother what was wrong, she had replied she wasn’t getting married. So they finished packing their bags and hit the road.

That was over a week ago. Now, on the last night of their impromptu road trip, the highlight being the visit to Harvard, Rory was sitting up in bed in the hotel room, her mother deep asleep beside her. She focused her gaze on the phone sitting on the night stand, but knew there was no way she could make a phone call with her mother asleep right next to her. But she didn’t want to go another day without talking to Jess. _This_ was now officially the longest they had gone without speaking. And she hadn’t given him any notice for her absence. She only hoped he wasn’t upset with her. She really missed him.

Double checking to make sure her mother’s breath was deep and even, she gently got up from the bed and quietly went to put on her coat and shoes. She made sure she still had the change in her pocket before grabbing the hotel key and exiting the room, slowly closing the door behind her.

She took the elevator down to the lobby and quickly exited the building, the crisp night air raising goosebumps on her skin. Her eyes searched for the payphone she spotted when they were pulling into the hotel’s parking lot. Seeing it, she briskly walked over and hurriedly jammed several coins down the slot before dialing the numbers she had memorized months ago.

The phone rang for longer than she was used to. Rory started to feel disappointment spur in her chest when the phone picked up. A decidedly female voice answered the phone.

“Do you know what time it is?! What do you want?!”

Rory was taken aback, not prepared to talk to Liz, an angry Liz at that.

“Hello?!” Liz said when Rory didn’t respond.

“Give me the phone.” she heard Jess angrily say through the receiver.

“There’s nobody even on it!” She heard a large clatter in the background.

“Probably cause your drunk ass is scaring her off.”

“And your ass is much better? You’re just like your father!”

“He left you too, so what does that say about you?”

“Stop talking to me that way! I am your mother!”

“Only because you forgot how to use birth control.”

“Why are you so mean to me?! What did I ever do to you?!”

“There’s not enough time in the world for me to tell you. Besides it’s not like you have to worry about me much longer!”

“I can’t --” A loud slam cut off Liz’s reply to Jess and for a moment, the only thing she could hear was his breathing.

“Hello?” Jess finally asked into the phone, feeling calm enough to speak now that he was away from his screaming mother.

“Hey.” Rory’s soft voice flitted through the receiver and Jess felt some of his irritation leave his body.

“Hey,” he said quietly. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay...” Rory hesitated, wishing to ask him what the fight was about, but decided to tread lightly. “I’m sorry I haven’t called lately. My mom kind of found out about the phone calls and so I didn’t call for a few days to let that die down and then we’ve been out of town for almost two weeks on a road trip, so I haven’t had a chance to call.”

“Huh. Why the sudden desire for the open road, Thelma?”

“I feel like I’ve got a knack for this shit,” she quipped.

Jess chuckled softly by her slight cursing, lightening the mood. “Well make sure Louise doesn’t drive you guys over a cliff.”

Rory smiled at the implication behind his words. “Aw, you’re not going soft on me, are you? I thought you were a real life outlaw.”

“I may be an outlaw darling, but you’re the one stealing my heart.”

Rory felt her breath hitch in her throat, warmth spreading throughout her entire body. _Did he just…_

Jess cleared his throat. “Seriously though, I’m curious. Why the road trip? Don’t you have school coming up in a couple days?”

“Yeah,” she replied, grateful for the tone shift in the conversation. She wasn’t ready to think about Jess in terms of love, despite the way her body hummed when he spoke. “My mom called off the wedding.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Yeah. It sucks. I really liked him. I honestly thought we could be a family, but Mom had other thoughts, I guess.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m a little down about it, but I’m okay. Mom took to me Harvard to make up for it.”

“Skipping junior and senior year, Doogie?”

Rory laughed. “I wish. It was amazing. Mom took me on a tour of the campus, making up her own random facts and then we snuck into one of the classes, and I even spoke up in the discussion, and … it was so much fun. I can’t wait.”

“I bet. You belong there.”

“So do you.”

“Nope. Not going there today.”

Rory rolled her eyes at his response. One day she’ll get him to embrace the idea of college. “Fine…. So…. what was all that earlier?”

“What was what earlier?”

“The thing with your mom.”

“Nothing.”

Rory narrowed her eyes at his clipped answer. _Definitely not nothing._ “Jess,” she said, her tone light but serious. “You can talk to me, you know.”

Jess exhaled slowly. “Just Liz doing her regular scheduled flip-out.”

“What did you do?”

A long sigh was her response.

“Or rather, what happened?” she corrected after a minute of silence.

“Nothing really. Just a wrong place wrong time kind of thing.”

“Jess.”

“Rory.”

“Come on, tell me. You know I don’t judge.”

Jess let out another long sigh. “Honestly, it’s nothing. I went to a party tonight, but didn’t get a chance to leave before the cops showed up. That’s all.”

“Wait… You got arrested tonight?”

When her question was met with silence, she bit her lip, knowing her suspicion was right.

“That’s not nothing, Jess,” she said softly, hoping not to anger him.

Jess exhaled sharply. “They had nothing on me. They couldn’t charge me with anything, since I picked tonight of all nights not to do any drinking. I was in jail for a couple of hours before they basically let me go. They just had to call Liz to come pick me up.”

“No drinking?”

“Not a drop.”

“So you’re not in trouble? No jail time?”

“No.”

Rory furrowed her brows in confusion. “Oh… Well if you didn’t do anything, then why is Liz so mad?”

“That’s the million-dollar question.”

They both remained quiet on the phone, their minds working through the situation.

“Are you okay?” she finally asked, feeling concerned for him. She knew Jess shared a different relationship with his mom than the one she shared with Lorelai, but she knew his fights with Liz still affected him, despite his insistence of being fine. And after hearing this fight, she knew that Liz could say some pretty hurtful things, not that Jess didn’t give as good as he got.

“Peachy.”

“You sure? You sound a little…. I don’t know… not yourself, I guess.”

He breathed out another long sigh, remaining quiet for a minute. Rory stayed silent, knowing from their past conversations to be patient and wait for Jess to open up if she wanted to get anything out of him.

“I’m grounded,” he said at last.

Rory wanted to laugh, but knew Jess could take that as teasing and he’d clam up immediately. “So?” she asked, biting her lip to keep the laugh in. “You don’t care about that. You’ll still do whatever you want to do, right?”

“It’s a different kind of grounding.”

“Different kind? What other kind is there?”

“She’s kicking me out.”

Rory felt her throat constrict at his admission. Tears started prickling her eyes. _No!_

“She can’t do that,” she ground out, using all her strength not to break down right now. _That’s the last thing he needs._

“Well she is.”

“But she’s your mom.”

“Only in name.”

“Jess.”

“It’s true.”

“Where are you gonna go?”

He shrugged. “Don’t know yet. Probably do some couch surfing, sleep on the subway, find a bench. That kind of thing.”

Rory felt the hairs on her arms start to rise from alarm. “What?” she yelled. “No! That’s too dangerous!” She took a breath to calm herself. “You know what, I can just ask my mom. Maybe she’ll let you stay here on the couch or something.”

“Rory,” Jess said, touched that she cared about him, but knowing better.

“What? She might. She knows what it’s like.”

“Yes, cause everything you’ve said about your mom tells me she’ll be comfortable letting a seventeen-year old boy that’s been arrested and kicked out sleep on the couch, much less one that you’ve been having a secret friendship with for the last several months.”

“But --”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be okay.”

“You’ll be sleeping outside!”

“If Sal could do it, so can I.”

“Sal’s a fictional character.”

“I’ve done it before.”

His answer ruined the retort she had at the ready. _He’s done it before?_ She tried to process what that particular piece of information really meant before hearing Liz’s loud and angry voice in the background.

“JESS! GET OFF THE PHONE AND GET OUT HERE! WE’RE NOT DONE TALKING ABOUT THIS!”

Jess exhaled heavily into the phone, biting back a sarcastic response. He suddenly felt very tired. His thoughts turned back to the girl still waiting on the phone. He clenched his jaw, hoping that this wasn’t a final goodbye. He hadn’t known her long, but she had been the best part of his life these last five months. “I’ve got to go,” he breathed out at last.

Rory rapidly blinked her eyes, trying to keep her tears at bay. “Okay…. I…..” she trailed off. She wouldn’t have a way to contact him anymore. _When are we gonna talk again?_

“I’ll call you.”

She breathed a shaky sigh in relief. “Okay. See you.”

“Yeah. See you.”

Rory waited until she heard the dial tone before she let the tears fall.

 

* * * * *

 

Rory couldn’t remember the last time she had been in this bad of a mood. For starters, she had gone to bed crying the last two nights because she couldn’t help feeling guilty that she was in a nice warm bed with a mother who would do anything for her, while Jess was probably sleeping on a park bench somewhere trying not to get murdered in his sleep because his mother essentially gave up on him. Needless to say she hadn’t gotten much sleep the last couple of nights.

Then, today of all days, when things were already awkward enough because her mom just HAD to call off the wedding to her teacher, Paris decided to be back to her bitchy ways and assign her to an interview with Mr. Medina for an article in the school newspaper. While the interview was nice and helped to put some things in perspective, she hated that he looked so heartbroken at first. The look will haunt her for weeks.

And as the final cherry on top, her mother had decided to throw a party at their house tonight for Luke’s nephew that was coming to stay with him, which made her want to scream in frustration, cause again, it’s not fair what’s happening to Jess, and after dealing with Paris and Mr. Medina, she was in no mood to be friendly and party tonight. Honestly, she just wanted to curl up in bed with Jess’ copy of _Howl_ for a few hours before going to sleep.

She let out another frustrated sigh and continued typing away on her computer, trying to use this well of energy to finish of the last of her assignments, this article, before putting on a smile to get through dinner. She heard the doorbell ring and continued to type faster, almost finished with writing the interview. After a couple of minutes, she heard the muffled voices of her mom and Jackson outside her room. She did one final read through as she finished typing the last sentence.

“Kid, they’re here,” her mother’s voice came through the door.

“Coming.” Rory clicked to exit out of her homework before turning around in her chair to greet the nephew. “Hey!” she exclaimed, trying to sound as friendly as possible. She started to think in her mind that he was cute, but his response froze her in her chair. She knew that voice, was intimately familiar with its cadence in her ear. Her mouth dropped open as she took in the dark-haired boy in front of her. _It can’t be._

“Hey,” Jess answered back, silently cursing his mind because he could have sworn this girl had sounded like Rory. He made a mental note to call her when he was back at the apartment, because even though it had only been two days, _dammit_ he missed her.

He nodded at the girl, slightly confused at her expression (she looked completely dumbstruck – _weird_ ), before shrugging it off and looking around at her room. His eyes quickly zeroed in on the bookshelf near the door that was full of books. _Huh. Another reader. Maybe this won’t be completely horrible. At the least he could come out of it with another friend_. His mind was quick to remind him that Rory wasn’t just a friend.

Rory watched Jess as he looked around her room before settling in front of her books, and any doubt she may have had about who he was vanished in that instant. _Of course he would go straight for the books._ She felt a smile spread wide across her face.

“Wow. Aren’t we hooked on phonics?” he said aloud, though his question was met with silence. He continued looking at the books until he noticed a familiar title: Howl. His thoughts instantly went back to Rory and their first conversation (well, third), and he couldn’t stop himself from grabbing the book and looking through it.

He froze a couple pages in when he noticed a familiar scrawl within the margins, _his_ scrawl. _No way._

His eyes flew from the pages in his hand to the girl that was sitting in her chair, a beaming smile on her face. He took a moment to study her, her thin frame dressed in a simple cardigan and pants, her brown hair against her shoulders, her pink lips that looked so damn kissable, her striking blue eyes staring back at him… _it can’t be…_

“Rory?” he croaked out, his eyes still wide with disbelief.

His voice grabbed Rory’s attention and she finally realized she had been still in her chair, watching him as he looked through her books. She cleared her throat as she stood, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Jess...” she trailed off, trying to keep the butterflies quiet in her stomach before they flew out of her mouth and led her to say something stupid. _He’s really here!_

Jess blinked rapidly at the acknowledgment of his name, before he schooled his shocked expression into his casual nonchalance. “Huh.”

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“Nice to meet you… officially, I guess.”

“Yeah.”

“What are you doing here? I thought you were… you know…”

“Liz talked to her brother, got him to take me in.”

“Her brother?”

“Luke.”

“You’re Luke’s nephew?” she asked before she realized what she said. “I mean, of course you are. Why else would you be here since we’re having dinner with Luke and his nephew?” She stopped talking when she noticed his lips twitch upwards.

They stood silently for a beat before she saw the book in his hand. She grinned slightly when she read the title. “I guess I should give that back to you,” she said, pointing towards the book that was still in his hands.

“Nah that’s okay,” he said, shaking his head as he looked back down at _Howl_. “It looks better on your shelf anyway.” He slid the slim volume back in its place before walking over to stand in front of Rory.

Before he could open his mouth to say something her mom burst in the room, carrying two bowls full of potatoes and potato salad. “Okay. We really need to get Jackson away from the lemons now, so we’re moving the feast in the living room.”

“Be right there,” Rory called back.

 _Right. The mom. And Uncle Luke. And the crazy people with the lemons._ Jess’ eyes quickly scanned the room, looking for the best exit that would lead them to somewhere more private, when he noticed the windows. _Perfect._ “So do these open?” he asked, pushing the lacy curtains out of the way.

“Oh yeah. You just have to unlatch them and then push.”

“Great. Shall we?” He asked with a toss of his head towards the window.

“Shall we what?” she asked, confused.

“Bail.”

Rory tried her best to bite back a laugh. _Classic Jess_. “No.”

“Why?”

“Because, it’s Tuesday night in Stars Hollow. There’s nowhere to bail to. The 24-hour minimart just closed 20 minutes ago.”

“So we’ll walk around or sit on a bench and stare at our shoes.”

She grinned widely at that, since finally spending some in-person alone time with him sounded so good right now, but she knew that wouldn’t make the best impression on her mom, who still has yet to know about Jess.

“Look, I know that these types of parties aren’t really your thing, but Sookie just made a ton of really great food and I’m starving, and you know better than to deny a Gilmore her food. It’s gonna be fun. Trust me.”

Jess bit his lip lightly, debating silently in his head. “I don’t know. The fact that _The Fountainhead_ is your example of amazing literature shows you can’t really be trusted with good judgment here.”

Rory pushed her lips together to suppress a smile. “Funny. I think that applies more to you since you think a snore fest like Hemingway is classic literature.” She continued on when she saw the reply forming on his lips. “Besides, did you miss the part where I said I was starving?” Her stomach grumbled immediately after she finished her sentence, an added effect for emphasis. She felt her cheeks burn red when she saw him smirk.

Jess rolled his eyes and stifled his reply, knowing there was no way he could keep her away from food. Besides, there would be a better time to talk to her privately, now that he was living here. “Fine.”

Her face lit up and she exclaimed “Great! Let’s eat!” She turned to head out of the room before his “Wait” stopped her.

She looked back, seeing a wall of gray, and looked up, his brown eyes suddenly so close she could see golden flecks swimming in the brown. She inhaled sharply, the aroma of musk and cigarette smoke surprisingly intoxicating, and the butterflies overtook her stomach and fled up to her throat. She felt him lightly grasp her face, and a quick gasp released all her oxygen before she felt him press his lips to hers. Soft, smooth lips that moved easily against hers, slowly working her mouth open, and before she knew it, her arms wrapped themselves around his neck, her fingers slowly working in his hair, and a breathy moan escaping her lips. It was better than she could have ever imagined since Dean had never kissed her like this. She pressed herself closer to him, feeling the hard planes of his chest and strong arms around her, tingles running up and down her spine. The only thing she thought was “more” before suddenly it stopped. What?

“Rory! What are you guys doing? You’re not in there having sex are you? Because we haven’t even started eating yet, and I can’t have that conversation on an empty stomach!” her mom’s voice shouted from the living room, followed by Luke’s “Oh jeez, Lorelai!” The two voices dulled her heightened senses like a bucket of water. Her mom! Luke!

“Coming!” she called back, feeling her cheeks beginning to burn again. She shyly glanced back to Jess who was rolling his eyes at Lorelai’s remark, though he still had a confident smirk on his face.

He looked back at Rory, secretly reveling in the shade of pink on her face. _I’ve got to make that happen more often._ “So I’m guessing the soda’s in the fridge?” he said with a raise of his eyebrows, before sauntering out of the room and into the kitchen.

“Yeah…” she breathed out, running a hand through her hair. She took a big breath, trying to steady the adrenalin racing through her body and looked around her room, making sure there was no evidence of that kiss for her mom to come in and see. She gazed at the bookshelf one last time, seeing the white and black spine of _Howl_ staring back at her. She thought back to that day at the library, the day that started everything, and another beaming smile spread across her face.

“Thank you,” she whispered to the book before quickly exiting and following Jess into the living room.

 

_Finis_

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So I had originally intended for this to be a short one-shot, lasting somewhere around 1,000 words, but before I knew it, this thing became a monster at over 13,000 words. If you would be so kind as to leave a comment, that would be most appreciated. This is my first fanfic written in a really long time, so I apologize if I'm a little rusty. I'm more of a poet than a prose writer. Also, this is my first fic in the Gilmore Girls fandom, a fandom I was always apprehensive about writing for because ASP has such a distinct way of writing that I never felt I could emulate properly. I hope this passes muster. 
> 
> References and quotes used include: Allen Ginsberg’s Howl, Carlos Ruiz Zafón’s The Shadow of the Wind, Kevin Smith’s Clerks and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Ridley Scott’s Thelma & Louise, Sex and the City, The Clash, The Ramones, and The Sex Pistols. And if anyone asks, I am aware that some of these references occurred after 2000-2001 timeframe in which season 1 (and season 2) took place. Thank you so much for reading!


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